Make space great again

President Trump is calling for the creation of a “Space Force,” a new sixth branch of the military that will ensure “American dominance in space.” Personally, I am whole-heartedly in favor of this proposal. After all,we won’t need to buy new uniforms — we can just find the old ones left over from the Star Trek show and save a lot of money. Creating the Space Force will also bring meaningful employment to many lobbyists, contractors and Congress people who will be chasing after the new funding. It reminds me of when Harold Agnew, my former mentor and the person who initiated my SDI involvement, warned me that the proposed SDI initiative could result in many deaths because many people would be trampled in the uncontrolled stampede to get the new money.

Another source of business would be the turnover of all of offices leased near the Pentagon, and of course all of the new construction for the government labs and offices. Hotels will also be filled with the multitudes of attendees at the high cost conferences explaining the technical challenges and the funding opportunities. Furthermore, if we invite foreign participation, each country will need to host cocktail parties and special events at their embassies, Caterers, bartenders, clothing stores, drycleaners… the number of businesses that stand to profit from Space Force will be endless—talk about an economic boost.

Space Force offers opportunities for the media and information industries as well. Learned professors from Ivy League universities will attack the new military branch and appear on countless talk shows, necessitating counter arguments from proponents. The clergy will need their own air time to go along with their sermons and the arms control advocates will need their own conferences, pamphlets and books. The new Space Force will boost the economy, provide jobs for the unemployables, and will offer a viable recycling outlet for previously useless Star Trek uniforms. I believe this is the best new idea since Star Wars. May the Space Farce be with you, indeed.

9 thoughts on “Make space great again

  1. Oleta Saunders's avatar Oleta Saunders

    Bravo! Gerry. Such insight into how to the economic benefit of insanity is invaluable. I didn’t appreciate the expanse of your wisdom until now.
    Oleta

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  2. I appreciate the scholarly endorsement of the President’s new Space Force. Does this also mean we will we need to change our space motto from “Let the Schwartz be with you” to “Let the Machatunim be with you?” I believe it is definitely time for the SDI guy to come out of retirement and aim more of his laser-like humor at our farcical Commander-in-Chief!

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  3. Al Toepfer's avatar Al Toepfer

    This will be the greatest Space Force in history! Believe me! There will be NO COLLUSION! Reserve your meeting venues at Trump hotels! Our chocolate cake deserts are to die for!

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  4. Dave sktSentry's avatar Dave sktSentry

    Gerry,

    When I decided to leave active duty in the Air Force, Harold Agnew offered me a position at LANL. He was impressed that my career included designing automatic car washes. Truly, we used stainless pipe from old missile silos to create a carwas ahose nozzleswould conform to the exterior of any vehicle. After hours part time job in COS.

    Hope you are doing well. I have flunked retirement several times.

    Dave Finkleman

    Sent from my iPad

    >

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